HEY OHHHHHHH!

SO.

The chemo's really taking ahold and making me nauseous. No, just kidding. There's some of my totally not funny or appropriate brand of humor to start us off.

So, I now use my Palm Centro (amazing contraption, it even makes delightful toast) for my internet full time. It will do dA if I really make it...but it's so convoluted and crammed that I got sick of checking each and every update oooone by oooone and just stopped.

Now I'm on Bob's PC and HOLY FRIKKIN TURD. 163 journal entries. A bazillion comments and some faves. 760some deviations (about 680 to go through still). So I'll be taking my sweet, sweet time getting back to you all. Many of you have posted updates with wonderful (or sad ) news, and I never commented. So sorry!

Indutiae, good luck in Londontown!
Nwooters, sorry to see you go.
Naters...wtfkthnxbai???
Tai, good work on the VA :3
Everyone else....jeesus christ stop updating so fast.

News about me???

Privet! I'm learning Russian. I sortof have the help of an amazing Ruske, but am too self-conscious to actually ask him for help or criticism. Go me and my anxiety issues, right? I can fart in bed, but god forbid I mispronounce "rostvorityel" (that's "solvent").

Ink and brush is the most amazing medium ever. I don't think I'll be doing any more Post Luminum digitally. I just...love inking so much. That's going fairly well, and by fairly well, I mean add two years to my original ETA. I read this book called "Zombies Calling" that was pretty much my book, psychicly preemptively stolen and published by...SLG. So screw that little dream. Rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown. And I spent all that time reworking it to be the least like my original influences (read: Vasquez).

I'm going back to school next semester! Art and language. I'm going to fucking do this and not let any more tragedies, deaths, or sour relationship issues screw me up.

Personally...I feel like I've been ruining my life bit by bit. In my heart I still believe every thing Sean has ever said to me. I'm watching a friend stay with a guy who is systematically seperating her from all her friends, doing and saying the exact same things Sean did, putting her in the same situation I was/am in. I've been facing a lot of demons regarding my family, and coming so much closer to confronting my parents, which will be bad. I tried to kill myself 4 days after my 20th birthday. Whoever reads this first will be the first to know that. I took 200mg of Ambien and just hit the couch. I don't remember two days of that time, but the paramedics say I was a bit rude. I lost some weight, gained some weight. Won Obama, lost Prop 8.

I feel crazy. My dad talks about me going to Juliard. My dad doesn't know me at all.

Crap, now I feel like shit and I'll have to end this and bump it over to myspace where I can get reeeaally emo.

Point is, I'm somewhat back. I'll try to borrow Bob's compy more often to come on. Or maybe once I get rid of all the untouched updates, I can handle a few at a time on my phone. I'll be getting around to all of you as the time comes.

We accept the love we think we deserve.
-Kat